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Finding a secular moms group: honest advice for modern moms

Finding a secular moms group: honest advice for modern moms
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Struggling to find a secular moms group? Discover honest advice, support, and community tips for modern moms navigating parenting without religion.

Shubhra Mishra

By Shubhra Mishra — a mom of two who turned her own confusion during pregnancy into BumpBites, a global mission to make food choices clear, safe, and stress-free for every expecting mother. 💛

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Quick take: Secular moms groups are safe, inclusive spaces for parents who don’t want religious or spiritual frameworks in parenting support. You can find them locally (Facebook, Meetup, or community centers) or online (Discord, Reddit, or dedicated platforms). These groups offer emotional support, practical parenting tips, and secular-friendly resources—without the pressure of shared beliefs. If you’re new to secular parenting, start by reading group guidelines or trying a low-pressure online hangout first.
Secular Moms Groups: A Modern Mom’s Honest Guide

You’re scrolling through Facebook at 2 AM, exhausted from another sleepless night with a fussy newborn, when you stumble upon a post: *“Secular moms group meeting tonight—bring your baby and your questions!”* Your heart does a little flip. You’ve felt alone in your choice to raise your child without religion, and the idea of connecting with other parents who “get it” feels like a lifeline. But how do you even find one of these groups? Are they safe? Will your kids be okay there? And what if you’re the only one who shows up?

You’re not alone. Many parents—especially first-time moms and dads—search for secular moms groups but don’t know where to start. The good news? These communities exist in every city, online, and even in your own backyard if you know where to look. Whether you’re navigating postpartum anxiety, breastfeeding struggles, or just the overwhelming chaos of parenthood without shared spiritual values, secular moms groups can offer the support you need—without the pressure to conform to a religious or spiritual framework.

This guide will walk you through everything you need to know: how to find groups near you or online, what they actually offer, how to stay safe, and even how to start your own if you can’t find one that fits. We’ll also compare them to religious moms groups and give you honest tips for joining—especially if you’re new to secular parenting. Let’s dive in.

--- ## **How to Find Secular Moms Groups Near Me**

You’re ready to connect, but where do you begin? Finding a secular moms group nearby doesn’t have to be complicated. Start with these trusted platforms:

  • Facebook Groups: Search for “secular moms [your city]” or “atheist parents [your region].” Many local groups are hidden behind private settings, so check the “See More” option if the search doesn’t yield results immediately. For example, Secular Moms NYC is a great starting point for New Yorkers.
  • Meetup.com: Filter by “secular parenting” or “atheist families” in your area. Meetup often hosts in-person meetups, playdates, and even parenting workshops.
  • Reddit: Subreddits like r/secularparents and r/atheistparents are active communities where you can ask for local recommendations.
  • Local Libraries or Community Centers: Many libraries host secular parenting book clubs or discussion groups. Call ahead to ask about upcoming events.
  • Word of Mouth: Ask friends, coworkers, or even your pediatrician’s office if they know of any secular parenting groups in your area. Sometimes the best leads come from unexpected places.

**Pro tip:** If you’re in a smaller town or rural area, don’t be discouraged. Many secular parents start their own groups—we’ll cover that later in this guide.

Parents and toddlers laughing at a park meetup

--- ## **Best Secular Moms Support Groups Online**

Not ready to step into a physical space yet? Online secular moms groups offer flexibility, anonymity, and a wealth of resources—perfect for busy parents or those who prefer digital connections. Here are the top platforms to explore:

1. Discord Servers

Discord is a real-time chat platform where many secular parenting communities thrive. Servers like Secular Parents Hub offer voice channels for live discussions, text channels for Q&A, and even themed rooms for topics like breastfeeding, sleep training, or mental health. The best part? You can join from your couch while your baby naps nearby.

2. Reddit Communities

As mentioned earlier, r/secularparents is a goldmine for honest, no-nonsense advice. The community is welcoming to newcomers, and the FAQ section answers common questions like “How do I explain my child’s lack of religion to their school?” or “Where can I find secular-friendly baby products?”

3. Dedicated Secular Parenting Websites

Websites like Secular Families and Atheist Parenting host forums, blog posts, and even virtual meetups. These sites are great for finding resources like secular parenting books, podcasts, and local event listings.

4. Facebook Groups (Again—But Online-Friendly Ones)

Some Facebook groups are entirely virtual, with members from all over the world. Look for groups with active moderators who enforce guidelines (like no religious proselytizing) and a welcoming tone. For example, Secular Parenting has thousands of members and regular live Q&A sessions.

**Why online groups work:** They’re low-pressure, time-flexible, and often more diverse than local groups. Plus, you can dip in and out without the guilt of missing a meetup.

--- ## **Where to Meet Secular Moms in [Your City]**

Still searching for a group in your specific city? Here’s how to tailor your search:

1. **Add Your City to Keywords**: Replace “secular moms” with “secular parents [your city]” in your search bar. For example, try: - “secular moms group Los Angeles” - “atheist parenting group Chicago” - “secular parenting meetup Houston”

Many local groups have “[City]” in their name, so this narrows it down quickly.

2. **Check Event Listings**: Websites like Meetup and Eventbrite often list secular parenting events. Filter by “free” or “new parent” to find accessible options.

3. **Ask Your Pediatrician or OB/GYN**: Some doctors’ offices have resources for secular parents or know of local groups. Don’t hesitate to ask!

4. **Local Atheist/Agnostic Groups**: Many atheist or humanist organizations (like American Humanist Association) host family-friendly events. These can be a great way to meet secular parents while also connecting with your broader community.

**Example Cities and Groups:**

If you’re in a smaller city or can’t find anything, don’t give up—many secular moms start their own groups. We’ll show you how later in this guide.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group for Postpartum Anxiety**

Postpartum anxiety is real, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed—especially when you’re navigating parenthood without the support of a religious community. Secular moms groups can be a lifeline in these moments. Here’s what to expect:

What They Offer

  • Emotional Support: Many groups have dedicated channels or threads for mental health discussions. You’ll find moms who “get it” and won’t judge you for feeling exhausted, guilty, or anxious.
  • Practical Tips: From sleep training without guilt to managing household chaos, secular moms share no-BS advice that’s free from religious dogma.
  • Resource Sharing: Some groups compile lists of secular-friendly therapists, lactation consultants, and parenting coaches who understand your values.
  • Low-Pressure Hangouts: Many groups host virtual coffee chats or park meetups where you can vent without fear of judgment.

How to Find One

Search for groups with keywords like “postpartum support” or “mental health for moms” in your preferred platform. For example:

**Remember:** If a group feels unwelcoming or judgmental, it’s okay to leave. Your mental health comes first.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group for First-Time Parents**

First-time parents often feel like they’re winging it—and that’s okay! Secular moms groups for new parents offer a safe space to ask “dumb” questions, share fears, and celebrate small wins. Here’s what makes them special:

Why They’re Great for Beginners

  • No Religious Pressure: You won’t hear phrases like “God’s plan” or “faith-based parenting advice.” Instead, you’ll get practical, secular-friendly guidance.
  • Community of Newbies: Many first-time parents in these groups are just as overwhelmed as you are. You’ll bond over shared struggles like sleep deprivation and diaper blowouts.
  • Workshops and Webinars: Some groups host live sessions on topics like breastfeeding, baby-led weaning, or managing postpartum depression.
  • Playdates and Social Outings: Meeting other parents in person (or virtually) can make the transition to parenthood feel less isolating.

How to Join

Look for groups with “first-time parents” or “new moms/dads” in the name. Here are a few to explore:

**Tip:** If you’re shy, start by reading posts before jumping into conversations. Many groups have a “newbie intro” thread where you can share your story at your own pace.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group Meeting Times and Locations**

One of the biggest hurdles for busy parents is figuring out when and where groups meet. Here’s how to find a schedule that works for you:

Online Group Meeting Times

Most online groups have flexible schedules, but here’s what to expect:

  • Discord Servers: Often have 24/7 chat access, with live voice channels during specific hours (e.g., 7–9 PM EST).
  • Facebook Groups: Some host weekly live Q&A sessions (usually evenings or weekends). Check the group’s pinned posts for updates.
  • Reddit: Threads are always open, but some subreddits host AMAs (Ask Me Anything) with secular parenting experts.

In-Person Meeting Times and Locations

In-person groups typically meet:

  • Weekday Evenings: 6–8 PM (after school drop-off, before bedtime).
  • Weekend Mornings: 9–11 AM (great for breastfeeding moms or those with older kids).
  • Weekend Afternoons: 12–2 PM (perfect for napping parents).
  • Locations: Often at libraries, community centers, parks, or coffee shops. Some groups rotate locations to keep it fresh.

**Pro Tip:** If you can’t find a group that fits your schedule, consider starting your own (we’ll cover that later). Or, ask a local group if they’d be open to adding a new meeting time.

--- ## **How to Create a Secular Moms Group**

If you’ve searched high and low and still can’t find a secular moms group that fits your needs, why not start one? It’s easier than you think—and you might just create a lifeline for other parents in your area. Here’s how to do it:

Step 1: Define Your Purpose

Ask yourself:

  • What’s missing in your local parenting community?
  • Who do you want to attract? First-time parents? Postpartum moms? Dads?
  • Will this be online, in-person, or both?

For example, if you’re in a city with no secular breastfeeding support, you might start a group focused on that.

Step 2: Choose a Platform

Decide where your group will live:

  • Facebook Group: Easy to set up, great for visuals and events.
  • Discord Server: Ideal for real-time chat and voice calls.
  • Meetup.com: Best for in-person meetups and playdates.
  • Reddit: Good for a smaller, highly engaged community.

Step 3: Set Ground Rules

Create a clear code of conduct to ensure your group stays welcoming and safe. Example rules:

  • No religious proselytizing.
  • Respect all parenting styles (attachment, gentle parenting, etc.).
  • Keep discussions positive and solution-focused.
  • Report any harassment or toxicity to moderators.

Step 4: Launch and Grow

Promote your group:

  • Share on local parenting Facebook groups.
  • Post in Reddit’s r/secularparents.
  • Partner with secular-friendly pediatricians or lactation consultants.
  • Host a free virtual meetup to attract members.

**Example:** A few years ago, a mom in Portland, Oregon, started Secular Moms Portland after struggling to find secular support. Today, it has over 5,000 members and hosts monthly in-person meetups.

--- ## **Secular Moms Community Events**

Beyond regular meetings, many secular moms groups host special events to bring the community together. These can be a fun way to meet other parents while giving your kids a chance to socialize. Here are some event ideas:

  • Playdates: Organized meetups at parks or playgrounds. Some groups rotate hosts to keep it low-pressure.
  • Book Clubs: Discuss secular parenting books like The Happiest Baby on the Block or What to Expect When You’re Expecting (without the religious spin).
  • Workshops: Topics like breastfeeding, sleep training, or managing postpartum depression with secular-friendly resources.
  • Potlucks or Picnics: A great way to bond over food while your kids play together.
  • Volunteer Days: Group outings to animal shelters, food banks, or community cleanups—secular values in action!
  • Virtual Movie Nights: Watch a family-friendly film together via Zoom and chat afterward.

How to Find or Host Events

Check your group’s calendar (if online) or ask moderators about upcoming events. If you want to host one, propose an idea in the group chat or create an event on Meetup.com.

**Example:** The Secular Moms NYC group hosts a monthly “Diaper & Donut” meetup at a local coffee shop, where parents grab coffee and chat while kids play.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group Benefits**

So, why join a secular moms group in the first place? Here are the top benefits you’ll gain:

1. Emotional Support Without Judgment

Parenting is hard enough without feeling like you’re the only one who doesn’t believe in God. Secular moms groups offer a space to vent, ask questions, and feel understood—without fear of being shamed for your values.

2. Practical Parenting Advice

From sleep training to potty training, you’ll get no-BS tips from parents who’ve been there. Many groups share resources like quick, healthy meals for busy moms or realistic morning routines that fit secular lifestyles.

3. Social Connection

Parenting can be isolating, especially if you don’t share the same religious background as your partner or in-laws. Secular moms groups help you build friendships with other parents who “get it.”

4. Access to Secular-Friendly Resources

Need a pediatrician who respects your secular values? Looking for a lactation consultant who won’t push religious beliefs? Many groups maintain lists of trusted professionals.

5. Community Building for Your Kids

Your children will also benefit from meeting other kids in secular families. Playdates and group activities help them grow up feeling normal and accepted.

6. Mental Health Support

Postpartum anxiety, depression, or just the stress of new parenthood can feel overwhelming. Secular moms groups often connect members with therapists or support groups that align with their values.

--- ## **How to Start a Secular Moms Group**

If you’ve been searching for a secular moms group and haven’t found one that fits, it might be time to create your own. Starting a group is a rewarding way to give back to your community while filling a need you’ve experienced firsthand. Here’s a step-by-step guide:

Step 1: Identify the Gap

What’s missing in your local parenting scene? Are there no secular-friendly playgroups? No support for new parents? Write down the specific need you want to address.

Step 2: Choose Your Format

Will your group be:

  • Online-only (Discord, Facebook, Reddit)?
  • In-person (meetups, playdates)?
  • A hybrid of both?

Consider your own schedule and the needs of the parents you want to attract.

Step 3: Set Clear Guidelines

Create a code of conduct to ensure your group stays positive and inclusive. Example rules:

  • No religious proselytizing.
  • Respect all parenting styles.
  • Keep discussions constructive.
  • Report harassment to moderators.

Share these rules in your group’s welcome post or pinned message.

Step 4: Launch and Promote

Announce your group on:

Offer a free virtual meetup or workshop to attract early members.

Step 5: Grow and Engage

Host regular events, like:

  • Monthly playdates at a local park.
  • Book clubs discussing secular parenting books.
  • Workshops on topics like breastfeeding or sleep training.
  • Volunteer days at animal shelters or food banks.

Encourage members to share their own ideas for events.

**Example:** A group called Secular Moms LA started with just 10 members but grew to over 2,000 after hosting a successful “Diaper & Donut” meetup series.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group vs. Religious Moms Group**

If you’re new to secular parenting, you might wonder how secular moms groups differ from religious ones. Here’s a quick comparison:

Feature Secular Moms Group Religious Moms Group
Focus Practical parenting advice, emotional support, and secular-friendly resources. Religious teachings, spiritual guidance, and faith-based parenting strategies.
Values Science-based, evidence-driven, and values-neutral. Faith-based, often tied to specific religious doctrines.
Discussion Topics Sleep training, breastfeeding, mental health, and secular parenting books. Prayer, scripture-based discipline, religious rituals, and faith development.
Community Feel Inclusive, judgment-free, and focused on shared experiences. Can vary—some are welcoming, others may pressure members to conform.
Resource Sharing Therapists, lactation consultants, and parenting coaches who respect secular values. Pastors, religious childcare centers, and faith-based parenting classes.
Best For Parents who want to raise children without religious influence. Parents who want to integrate faith into their parenting.

**Key Takeaway:** Secular moms groups are about practical support and shared values, while religious groups often include spiritual or doctrinal elements. Choose what feels right for you and your family.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group for Breastfeeding Support**

Breastfeeding can be a deeply personal and sometimes isolating experience—especially if you’re navigating it without religious or spiritual support. Secular moms groups can be a lifeline, offering practical advice, emotional encouragement, and a safe space to ask questions. Here’s what to expect:

What They Offer

  • Practical Tips: From latching techniques to managing supply, you’ll get no-nonsense advice from moms who’ve been there.
  • Resource Sharing: Groups often compile lists of secular-friendly lactation consultants and breastfeeding-friendly products.
  • Emotional Support: Breastfeeding can be emotionally challenging, and these groups provide a judgment-free zone to vent or celebrate milestones.
  • Playdates and Meetups: Some groups host breastfeeding-friendly playdates where moms can nurse while their kids play together.
  • Debunking Myths: Many groups address common (and often religiously influenced) breastfeeding myths, like “breast is best at all costs” or “God will provide if you just pray.”

How to Find One

Search for groups with keywords like “secular breastfeeding support” or “atheist moms breastfeeding.” Here are a few to explore:

**Tip:** If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Many secular moms groups have members who are certified lactation consultants or have experience with pumping, bottle-feeding, or mixed feeding.

--- ## **Secular Moms Group for Mental Health**

Parenthood can take a toll on your mental health, and if you’re not part of a religious community, you might feel like you’re navigating this alone. Secular moms groups can be a crucial source of support, offering a safe space to discuss anxiety, depression, or burnout without judgment. Here’s how they help:

What They Offer

  • Peer Support: Talking to other moms who understand your struggles can be incredibly validating.
  • Resource Sharing: Groups often share information about secular-friendly therapists, support groups, and mental health resources.
  • Workshops and Webinars: Some groups host sessions on topics like managing postpartum depression or setting boundaries as a parent.
  • Low-Pressure Check-Ins: Many groups have dedicated threads or channels for mental health discussions, where you can share your feelings at your own pace.
  • Community Accountability: If you’re struggling with burnout, these groups can help you stay accountable to self-care routines or therapy appointments.

How to Find One

Look for groups with “mental health” or “postpartum support” in the name. Here are a few to consider:

**Remember:** If you’re experiencing severe symptoms like suicidal thoughts, contact a mental health professional immediately. Secular moms groups can complement therapy but should not replace it.

--- ## **Myth vs. Fact: Secular Moms Groups**

There are a lot of misconceptions about secular moms groups. Let’s set the record straight:

Myth: “Secular moms groups are judgmental toward religious parents.”

Fact: Secular moms groups exist to support secular parents. While they may not be the right fit for religious families, they are inclusive of all parenting styles—whether you’re religious, atheist, or somewhere in between. The focus is on shared values of respect and practical support.

Myth: “Secular moms groups don’t offer enough structure or guidance.”

Fact: Many secular moms groups provide workshops, playdates, and even parenting classes led by experts. They’re designed to be resource-rich, just like religious moms groups—but without the spiritual framework.

Myth: “My kids won’t fit in because they’re religious.”

Fact: Secular moms groups are about the parents, not the kids. While some groups may be secular-focused, others are open to all families. If you’re worried, ask about the group’s values before joining. Many are happy to welcome religious families as long as they respect the secular nature of the community.

--- ## **Key Takeaways**

Here’s what you need to remember about secular moms groups:

  • They offer emotional support, practical advice, and community—without religious pressure.
  • You can find them online (Discord, Reddit, Facebook) or in-person (Meetup, local libraries).
  • Groups for specific needs (postpartum anxiety, breastfeeding, mental health) exist—just search for them!
  • If you can’t find a group, start your own. Many communities are waiting to be built.
  • Secular moms groups are safe and inclusive, but always check group guidelines to ensure they align with your values.
  • They’re a great complement to other support systems, like group therapy for moms or journaling practices.
--- ## **Frequently Asked Questions**

What is a secular moms group?

A secular moms group is a community of parents who raise their children without religious or spiritual influence. These groups provide emotional support, practical parenting advice, and a safe space to connect with other secular families. They’re focused on shared experiences—like sleep training, breastfeeding, or mental health—without the pressure of shared beliefs.

How can I find a secular moms group?

Start by searching Facebook, Meetup, or Reddit for “secular moms [your city].” You can also check secular parenting websites like Secular Families or ask your pediatrician for recommendations. If you’re in a smaller town, consider starting your own group!

Are secular moms groups safe for children?

Yes! Secular moms groups prioritize child-friendly environments. Many groups host playdates, workshops, and events where kids can socialize with other secular families. However, always check a group’s guidelines to ensure they align with your values. If you’re unsure, start with an online group to get a feel for the community.

What topics are covered in secular moms groups?

Topics vary, but common discussions include:

  • Breastfeeding and bottle-feeding.
  • Sleep training and establishing routines.
  • Postpartum anxiety and depression.
  • Secular parenting books and resources.
  • Managing household chaos without religious guilt.
  • Finding secular-friendly doctors and therapists.

Many groups also host workshops on topics like quick, healthy meals or realistic morning routines.

Do secular moms groups have online meetings?

Absolutely! Many secular moms groups meet online via Discord, Facebook Live, or Zoom. These virtual hangouts are great for busy parents who can’t attend in-person meetups. Some groups even host 24/7 chat rooms where you can ask questions or vent at any time.

How do secular moms groups support new parents?

New parents in secular moms groups often receive:

  • Practical advice on sleep training and breastfeeding.
  • Emotional support for the overwhelming feelings of new parenthood.
  • Playdates and meetups to socialize with other new parents.
  • Resource lists for secular-friendly pediatricians, lactation consultants, and therapists.
  • A sense of community and belonging without religious pressure.

Many groups also host “first-time parent” workshops to help you navigate the early months.

--- ## **When to See a Doctor or Specialist**

While secular moms groups are a fantastic source of support, there are times when you should seek professional help:

See a Therapist or Counselor If

  • You’re experiencing persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness.
  • You’re struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety.
  • You feel overwhelmed by parenting and can’t cope on your own.
  • You’re having thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby.

Consult a Pediatrician If

  • Your baby isn’t gaining weight

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Shubhra Mishra

About the Author

When Shubhra Mishra was expecting her first child in 2016, she was overwhelmed by conflicting food advice — one site said yes, another said never. By the time her second baby arrived in 2019, she realized millions of mothers face the same confusion.

That sparked a five-year journey through clinical nutrition papers, cultural diets, and expert conversations — all leading to BumpBites: a calm, compassionate space where science meets everyday motherhood.

Her long-term vision is to build a global community ensuring safe, supported, and free deliveriesfor every mother — because no woman should face pregnancy alone or uninformed. 🌿

🌍 Stand with mothers, shape safer guidance

Join a small circle of experts who review BumpBites articles so expecting parents everywhere can decide with confidence.

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